Choices

Its crazy. I know Its crazy. But I sit here and wonder what the heck do normal people do when they get a phone call at work from a cell of their loved one with ranting, raving and garbled tones due to the cell line being weak. What am I to think, let alone do? But I am calm on the phone, I surprise myself. I had my noon meeting today and it was about choices and I am grateful I went.

So once we were disconnected from the 1st call, I called his phone back. My husband was obviously in a panic, a state of passion and anger and frustration. He was out of breath. He began with 'You're son attacked me with a knife' and he wants him gone, out, forever. He will not live with him, if I allow him to come back into the home, then my husband will leave and as he relayed this message to me he was bringing his tone to a pitch that was uncomfortable in my ear.

Thick anger coating every accusing word that came from the receiver. I stay silent thinking what now? I talk softly to encourage calm and ask how he is, if he is OK and he says he is. I ask how MY son is and he says he doesn't not know that he left and he is glad for that. I say alright, what can I do? Nothing is his reply.

When I hang up I go back to work as if this was just another event in another day. And as I work I wonder what he wanted me to do, what he expected me to do. He seems to want to tattle on his son to me and I grow annoyed at that quality. He said, my son on the phone, not our son. Still I am not biting but I call him back, I ask if he is calm now if we can talk as his cell phone goes in and out, I ask that he stay in one place so I can hear him, he re-tells the story with more details this time. He states he will press charges, he will call the police and press charges and he works himself up into a state again. OK I say, do that if you need to. Did he cut you? I ask. No was his answer.

Silence. He then explained that our son did not exactly attack him with a knife, but threatened him with one instead. I said the behavior was still inappropriate. Then he asked why I do not care, why I am acting like I do not care and he sounds frustrated that I am not up in arms about the whole mess.

I wanted to say that this tragedy happens frequently as of late and that I tire of it. As if them calling wolf, I no longer jump at the first utterance of intolerance with one another. I want to ask him to grow up and parent but I know he is ill equipped to at this time, with this child. I said instead that I did not know what he wanted me to do by calling me at work but that I was glad he and my son were not hurt. I left it at that.

I thought of all the people I could call and ask what I should do, but in the end I called nobody because I think I am doing what I should be doing.

I am not happy about what happened but I cannot control it, did not cause it and certainly cannot cure it. I find however that I have a choice on how I react to it. This choice of staying at work and remaining calm feels like the right thing for now.