tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post4207295478186162086..comments2008-11-20T11:57:02.688-06:00Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16914656489970904052up4more2@gmail.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-63304365750718950382008-11-20T11:53:00.000-06:002008-11-20T11:53:00.000-06:00hold on, he will come back when he is ready, just be there waiting for him when he does.Melhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271634679698595400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-25706189309518265452008-11-20T00:12:00.000-06:002008-11-20T00:12:00.000-06:00All very well put.... I wish you the best and will keep you all in my heart and prayers.<BR/><BR/>PEACEJust Another Sober Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850531488095008131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-32993197361985699332008-11-17T16:39:00.000-06:002008-11-17T16:39:00.000-06:00Hey Cath,<BR/>Just wanted to say I know what you're feeling...Mom used to go through our stuff all the time. She finally incorporated me into it with Dad...which was how I knew Dad was gay 5 -7 years before they divorced...<BR/>I enjoy your blogs. They're honest...You were considered the black sheep of the family all those years, but in retrospect I think you were the pioneer. You would break the 'family code' often- could it be that it was instinctual; that a part of you knew things were fucked up?<BR/>I love you Sis<BR/><BR/>ChrisHippie, Sr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17226825745735994458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-48623732889440571472008-11-16T16:55:00.000-06:002008-11-16T16:55:00.000-06:00Wow. Your post really moved me. I came via Lou's site. Let me just say, I really know what you are going through. My site is private. If you like to check it out send me your email to pzysk14@verizon.net for an invite. Hugs to you.pathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07231036049535477708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-39910817378431460632008-11-16T13:06:00.000-06:002008-11-16T13:06:00.000-06:00Gone are the days when parents had to hide stuff like this to save face. Thank God.Scott Whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06361224878660334532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-83156343566672795872008-11-15T22:03:00.000-06:002008-11-15T22:03:00.000-06:00You have so much grace! <BR/><BR/>I have a feeling you may be helping your husband find his own grace as he moves from the role of the addict to the codie.Willowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541343977234395980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-28430325118417266642008-11-15T20:06:00.000-06:002008-11-15T20:06:00.000-06:00What's a wall-tussen?UBERMOUTHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15428848028109037855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-26320601175425720102008-11-15T14:05:00.000-06:002008-11-15T14:05:00.000-06:00Sending you positive thoughts. Too much drama. I hope you have a calm weekend.Mary Annhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04923598644163139339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-31207783208762766732008-11-15T04:54:00.000-06:002008-11-15T04:54:00.000-06:00come for a quick visit, there's something for you here <BR/>http://gsp-shadow.blogspot.com/2008/11/let-them-eat-cake.htmlShadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05999801833389058410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-31989682187075063362008-11-15T00:42:00.000-06:002008-11-15T00:42:00.000-06:00Oh sweetheart, what a tough call. A wake-up call for your husband too. That chaos of the heart for a young person... <BR/><BR/>Sending you and your family cyber hugs and love<BR/><BR/>MaryMary L Ahttp://louisey.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-48369295542143881502008-11-15T00:20:00.000-06:002008-11-15T00:20:00.000-06:00Ugggghhhh<BR/><BR/>I wish that I was attending Alanon and blogging when I went through the same things you did. I would find pot pipes in my sons' rooms taped up under the desk or in hiding places in their cars, etc. I would drive to McDonald's, after having wrapped the pipes in a brown lunch bag, and throw them in the garbage can in the parking lot. I did this many, many times. Also found blunt wrappers (didn't even used to know what that was) and empty liquor bottles at times. <BR/><BR/>Where do you draw the co-dependent line with someone under 18 living in your home? I'm not so sure searching his room was wrong, to be honest.<BR/><BR/>He needs counseling, counseling, counseling.TraceyBabyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11500543691709828584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-23215601327727237762008-11-14T21:14:00.000-06:002008-11-14T21:14:00.000-06:00Oh Cat, I'm so sorry to hear this. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.<BR/>~SusanAuburn haired artisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06779485623900122426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-68093946452999396202008-11-14T16:10:00.000-06:002008-11-14T16:10:00.000-06:00I've known many kids who do much worse than he did and still end up as decent productive human beings. Myself included. Hang in there.cedrorumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01124141793738653183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-4024909530658415572008-11-14T13:34:00.000-06:002008-11-14T13:34:00.000-06:00Cat, stopping by to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family during this difficult time. <BR/><BR/>I am not a parent, but I am a daughter. It reminds me of myself when I was younger. Acting out is a call for help. I am so glad that he has two parents... and two parents that have an understanding of the program. It makes a world of differnece. I think it is important for the two of you to stand togetehr as one united front. My mom didnt have that opportunity. <BR/><BR/>What does not kill us, makes us stronger. I truly believe that God has a special plan and everything happens for a reason. Thank you for always being so supportive of me... {{{Hugs}}}} Peace and Serenity in your direction.<BR/><BR/>KristenProgress, Not Perfectionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140777966012801943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-89084106496673387992008-11-14T10:45:00.000-06:002008-11-14T10:45:00.000-06:00My heart is breaking reading this. I know exactly how you feel. Such a feeling of helplessness and just wanting your sweet boy back again. Sometimes it is so very hard to see them start to grow up and make so many mistakes. My son just turned 27 yesterday and he is still behaving like he did at 15. *sigh* I am blessed to have a 17 yr old daughter that has learned a lot from her brother and how she doesn't want to be. <BR/><BR/>You are in my thoughts and prayers. HugsTrailbosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058466324682343626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-11437640859771923652008-11-14T10:33:00.000-06:002008-11-14T10:33:00.000-06:00Cat,<BR/>First let me start by saying I love your blogs. This one hit home with me. My ex-communicated (to me) older brother led my family down this similar path. As a mom of a 16 1/2 yr old son, I pray every night not to relive past situations with him. So far, so good. My thoughts &amp; prayers are with you -- stand firm and I hope he sees and welcomes all your love and support.<BR/>jessieJessiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11173809658342411265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-42784006467750442862008-11-14T08:27:00.000-06:002008-11-14T08:27:00.000-06:00It's all been said and said well, but I send you my prayers and my hugs and hope. My sponsor reminds me that it's always changing and it ALL changes, and today I have hope in that...not fear.<BR/><BR/>Hugs<BR/>GabiGabriella Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15127343815869529555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-45661613541621611722008-11-14T07:41:00.000-06:002008-11-14T07:41:00.000-06:00Your son reminds me so much of me as a child. Growing up with an alcoholic parent ate me from the inside out. My addictions took hold by my early teens and I came into recovery. Meanwhile my parents learned some coping skills through Al-anon and some counseling. Still, we only reconnected after I left the house. Sometimes that's what it takes, unfortunately. We did not co-exist well under the same roof. I left home at 16 and have done very well. That was the path I needed to take. I love my parents, we just couldn't live together after all that had happened. I'm not saying that's the case here, but I understand his sadness and his frustration. <BR/><BR/>I feel for your son as a child of an alcoholic. I also feel for you as a parent and your husband as a parent someone in recovery. You're all in my thoughts. The road is hard. Just love each other and you'll get through it. That's all you can do *hugs*The Mavenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17871961076874683588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-40312851873790478252008-11-14T00:35:00.000-06:002008-11-14T00:35:00.000-06:00{{{{{{{{Cat}}}}}}}}<BR/><BR/>My heart hurts for you and what you are going through. I think you did the right thing, calling the police when he got physical and also telling him he shouldn't talk to you when he was being completely unreasonable. I know I don't know you and your family, but from what you've written, I have a feeling this is about your son's anger with his dad and I think he has a real shot at getting better if all of you work together to address things. I think what you've all been doing already is probably on the right track, and maybe this outburst, while it may seem awful, might be a good thing. A catalyst or a cry out. A bid for attention. I don'tknow. Teenagers are all about pushing boundaries. Add in parents in their own recovery... he's got to be a little anxious himself about changes in the household.<BR/><BR/>Just my two cents, which isn't worth much. I'll be wishing my best for you.vicariousrisinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16354890444410748967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-22014132251872039222008-11-13T23:30:00.000-06:002008-11-13T23:30:00.000-06:00This post, I had to read it twice. Not having kids of my own I can only relate to him, and remembering being a teenager myself.<BR/><BR/>I actually think it's good that your husband tossed his room. Good to find what you found. Good that your husband didn't drink over it, and that you can provide a united front.<BR/><BR/>your kid is dealing with some tought stuff right now, just like you are. Hopefully he can continue to go to Al-anon with you, but feelings are going to surface for him, just like they do for you.<BR/><BR/>i know I had lot's of things in my room when i was a kid, some got found and some didn't. I didn't necessarily turn out OK, it took much longer for me. and I didn't have an alcoholic parent, I had other family things happening.<BR/><BR/>I'd be more worried about the Tussin than beer bottles. That shit will mess you up if taken recreationally.<BR/><BR/>sorry for the super long comment. I should just email you.Anybethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01193999238104640590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-73833264624190522372008-11-13T22:00:00.000-06:002008-11-13T22:00:00.000-06:00Cat, it will get better, and it will go away...but not soon--sorrowfully, not soon.<BR/><BR/>You and hubby might consider praying together. Somehow it seems that two are better than one + one, when it comes to praying.AlkySeltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17498524940140288735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-64605605350603731962008-11-13T20:28:00.000-06:002008-11-13T20:28:00.000-06:00I'm grateful you blog Cat.~ Tabitha ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07462651710980805568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-77091878494124798492008-11-13T20:26:00.000-06:002008-11-13T20:26:00.000-06:00damn. Cat, hang in there.<BR/><BR/>It isn't your fault, or your husband's.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes, it just really sucks to be a parent and have a child going off dysfunctional.<BR/><BR/>I don't have any advice at all. Some things work with some kids, some don't??<BR/><BR/>Go with your gut.<BR/><BR/>Dawn. (who will be praying)Fractalmomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03699870975776139552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-37653652265564736492008-11-13T18:23:00.000-06:002008-11-13T18:23:00.000-06:00Cat, ask yourself..how many parents in your neighborhood have to call the police on their children. Don't make excuses about his home life. Neither one of us drank. My son was willful, impulsive, and a risk taker from the start. I always had a feeling in my gut that something more than normal acting out was going on, but it was just under the surface.<BR/>We didn't get anywhere with shrinks, just my opinion. My son told them what they wanted to hear till the insurance ran out on that game.<BR/>I don't have advice you can take to the bank. I have come to believe some kids just have to learn the hard way..some never learn (but they are rare). Just read, read, talk to other parents at Al-A (after the meetings), and keep a united front with your husband. Our son exploited our disagreements like no tomorrow. <BR/>Feel free to email if you want to know some of the places we sent him. I would not recommend any of them!Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496172669599418214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6462750899242066061.post-73182158327295855572008-11-13T18:17:00.000-06:002008-11-13T18:17:00.000-06:00Oh Cat,<BR/><BR/>I am sending you my sincere love and best wishes...<BR/><BR/>family fights are horrible, just really really horrible. <BR/><BR/>It will pass and it will get better but till then; a big hug.sparsely katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08417944342984872142noreply@blogger.com